gracias a Dios

it's amazing that a year has already flown by. this time last year i was wrapping up my life in ecuador and preparing for the next step in my journey. (it's even more incredible that the "new" volunteers are finishing their year). i had no idea what to expect. i was leaving what had finally become comfortable and familiar for the unknown. i didn't have plan; i'm not sure i do now. but as i look back on the last year, i see definitive steps and mis-steps in my growth in that journey.

i've been in los angeles for over 11 months and i've learned quite a bit about myself. i've learned that while i like to move around, i do not adjust to change as quickly as i may like. i've learned that i love cities (and miss being in one in the truest sense of the word). that i love nature. that i love public transportation. that i love latin american culture. that a career in education may be in my future. that i love working with kids.

my job at reading to kids has been a huge blessing in opening my eyes to many of those discoveries. i do not think i could've asked for a better job or better employers. i mean that. they have been amazing thus far. i have matured in this position and have gained much more from my experiences with reading to kids than i fear that i have given back. but first and foremost, this job has ignited a passion within me for education. it has furthered the idea i gained from working with pat & sonya at nuevo mundo that an education is essential to any success, small or big. the state of public education in this city, this state, this country is beyond deplorable. but it seems like such a vast and widespread problem that will never be solved. yet seeing the excitement and fervor that the kids and parents have for our program, makes the long hours and tedious work worth it. i went to a community council meeting about two months ago to present our program to the council in the hopes that we would receive funding for our program. after giving the presentation, a few questions arose as to how the funds could be used if allocated to our program. a parent in the audience took the questions to mean that we would not be funded, and as a result, stood up from the back of the room and proceeded to lambast the councilmen for even daring to think of not funding the program that her children attend each month. i often lose sight of who are affected by our program, but when i witness passion like that, it's rewarding to know i have a hand in it. i'm not sure how education will play into my future career goals (maybe i'll be a teacher?), but i know it will be a component.

this job has also reaffirmed my joy and passion in working with children. it was so obvious that i was oblivious to the fact, but as i was applying for jobs last fall it dawned on me: i've worked with kids in some form or fashion for most of my life. and not only that, i enjoy it! whether it was giving swimming lessons with my mom when i was 13 or working in after school programs in ecuador, i find great joy in working with kids. while this year has shown me that i want to work on a much more grass-roots level with kids, it has reaffirmed that passion and career direction nonetheless.

the past year has also ignited a passion to learn more (about a myriad of things). i miss school and can't wait to get back to grad school. i wish i had studied so many other topics during my undergrad at DePaul. foreign policy. latin american studies. and while i am discerning what i want to study next (international social work? public policy? international studies?), i am eager to learn as much as i can. i've amassed a good collection of books to read on latin america, social justice, economics, poverty. i just need to commit the time and energy into reading and learning from them.

more than anything, though, the past year has kept aflame my desire to work within the realm of social justice. i think i've always known i was a "tree-hugging hippy" at heart. i've always had a passion for other people. i get it from my mom. but my experiences in ecuador ripped open that part of me. it's such a strong desire, that i can't really hide that part of me anymore. i recently went back to chicago and had lunch with carol marin and don moseley. in the car ride back to my aunt's place, carol asked me point blank, "what's the one thing you've taken away from your experience in ecuador?" at the time i gave some lame answer about viewing the united states differently, blah blah blah. but as i was thinking back on that question the other day and if she were to ask me again, i'd say i've taken away how blessed i am. to have a college degree. a u.s. passport. health. opportunities. social mobility. i want to help and work with those who don't have those advantages in this world. kind of like sr. annie says "to give voice to the voiceless."

i love and am proud to be a u.s. citizen. but i don't feel like this is where i'm needed. i went back to ecuador in may to visit all my panas there. abrahan. eduardo. elkin. jairo. lucy. diego. ricardo. aide. diana. megan. the volunteers. the chicos at 28 de agosto. in short, seeing them again was amazing. it's weird to say, and even harder to explain, but i felt more comfortable and in my element there, than i do here most of the time. i have nothing but respect for social workers, community organizers and public leaders in this country. but this isn't where i need to be.

so as i look forward to the next year, i'm brought to a point of question of where am i going. where do i need to grow. i know there are plenty of areas (physically, spiritually, emotionally) that need work, where i've faltered this year. but i am excited about the future and potential opportunities that are coming my way. i'm excited about the friendships i've made and continue to make. i'm excited for the growth i see in myself and others. more than anything, though, i am excited to be alive. gracias a Dios.